The women and men of Lightning Wireless are back in the Valley for their annual holiday get-together, but high drama is afoot. Intern Marla thinks she has found proof that the Jackson Heights project is just a cover for a secret facility for the Xirrian Air Force, but when she tells the CIO he laughs it off- perhaps a little too emphatically. Carmen’s blind date is run down crossing West Java Drive, by a driver-less car with no markings (it appears to be blaring Billy Idol’s “Hot in the City”). As he expires, he utters something about investigating the Xirrians flying secret saucers out of Google’s facilities and hands her a MicroSD card as the police arrive. Meanwhile, a rescue appears to be under way in Africa to free captive Terry from the 4-channel-crazed 2.4 GHz warlord. Surprisingly, Tino is leading the operation- along with… mysterious Venture Capitalist Ferguson? And just when it can’t get any weirder, Daphne is seen getting dropped off in front of the Lightning corporate office by none other than Flavor Flav, with what appears to be an AirTight C-60 dangling from a thick gold chain around his neck.
As Terry seals the deal to purchase the raw materials for Lightning Wireless’ new flexible Yagi antennas, the warlord who controls access to the unpointium mines insists on a celebratory toast. After one sip, Terry blacks out and wakes up dressed like Princess Leia, in a room surrounded by old FHSS wireless cards. Meanwhile, Tino has matured into a big-league hacker type, and we see him dressed as a copier repairman, calmly planting a Wi-Fi Pineapple as he hums Billy Idol’s “Hot in the City”. But is he really carrying this attack out in The Kremlin? Last we saw of Baby Patrick, his first word spoken was “Ekahau”, which sent Jim into a rage. Just when it seems that Clare and Jim can work things out, Jim hears the baby say “Heatmapper”. Clare cringes. As Jim tears out in a fury, she knows it’s over between them. Episode ends with a glimpse of Carmen, again dressed as Catwoman, using a Dremel tool to work a mini-USB adapter into what appears to be… an Etch-A-Sketch?
Catty Carmen is back in her office at Lightning Wireless, and up to her usual rants. As she throws a world-class fit about her new Samsung Note 3 not having “enough bars”, the service technician (guest star Robert Pattinson) silently opens the window and heaves the device into the Howard River. Meanwhile, Daphne’s days of duplicitous love come to a violent end when a melee breaks out at the hip-hop club, and both of her Outlaw Wireless Rap-star lovers are killed- but who shot first, Phat Channel or QAM? We briefly see Tino in some sort of para-military uniform evidently at a hacker training facility, but why is the instructor speaking Arabic? Finally, Terry (still in Africa) waits to hear whether the warlord is willing to deal for unpointium, the metal to be used in her company’s new flexible Yagi antennas. As he contemplates whether to play ball, the warlord hums Billy Idol’s “Hot in the City”.
Tonight on Wi-Fi Wives: Secret Wi-Fi Technology, Marketing Run Amok, CIO Sees a Ghost
What appeared to be a rocket pod on Carmen’s SUV that she had aimed at Riley’s house turns out to be some sort of secret WLAN technology. It’s not clear what the device is, but we overhear Riley’s animated conversation about her “10x better Wi-Fi” as Carmen’s face is illuminated in the glow of a very peculiar looking tablet computer. At Lightning Wireless, the marketing team has a melt-down. Donovan wants to push yet another truth-stretching whitepaper about the company’s products, while Marisol has had enough of the Big Talker’s antics. The rest of the team takes sides, and things get pretty ugly; even lovebirds Eugene and Rhonda seem to be at each other’s throats. We see the CIO playing basketball at the fitness center during the annual Day Out event. Though he’s on fire with his usual impressive skyhook shot, he freezes when a shadowy figure is seen at the scorekeeper’s table. Could it really be- the “person” resembles his brother, recently killed in the yagi antenna incident. Meanwhile, Terry and Darcy seem to be hatching some sort of plot via Skype, but who’s the target?
Tonight on Wi-Fi Wives: Tino’s Bad Trip, Terry Hits Gold (Sort Of), Guest Access Scandal
When we last saw Tino, it appeared as if him and fellow hacker-camp counselor Lucy were getting whisked away by a mysterious government agency. It turns out it was all a bad hallucination, as someone slipped a pill into Tino’s Red Bull during NAC class. In Africa, Terry’s search for the rare element unpointium may be over, as she found more than the company could ever use in their new soft Yagi antenna line. But will she be able to come to terms with the warlord who guards the mineral- without giving in to his perverse demands that she switch to a 4-channel plan in 2.4 GHz? Back at Lightning Wireless corporate, an investigation has begun into who provided the MAC address exceptions for a number of visiting inmates on clean-up work release detail. It doesn’t look good for Darcy, given her husband’s criminal history, but she swears her innocence. Meanwhile, Carmen deploys what appears to be a rocket pod from the underside of her Escalade- as the vehicle faces Riley’s house. Carmen hums Billy Idol’s “Hot in the City”.
Tonight on Wi-Fi Wives: Carmen Really Is Losing It, Access Point “Skins”, Maybe Terry’s RFP Wasn’t So Bad
Goodness gracious, Carmen really seems to be falling off the edge. After showing up late to the BYOD strategy meeting, she asks Jesse to pass the corn relish. Given that there is no food in the room, Jesse politely asks her if she’s OK. Carmen threatens to “Mobile Iron him upside the head”. Later, we see Carmen dressed like Cat Woman in her black Expedition- parked in the dark alley behind Riley and Dom’s house (and what’s that magnet-mount antenna on the roof of the SUV?) We finally learn what Monique has been up to (when not confronting Grayson about his indiscretions); she’s opened a company that sells designer “skins” for access points. And she seems to have the backing of someone with deep pockets- maybe a mysterious venture capitalist? Meanwhile, as the CIO continues to grieve over his brother’s tragic Yagi accident, he finds himself re-reading the RFP that Terry wrote. Overcome with shame, he realizes he shouldn’t have mocked it, as it’s better than any he ever put together. He thinks of Terry in far-off Africa, as she quests for unpointium for his new safe Yagi line, and vows to do right by her when she returns.
Tonight on Wi-Fi Wives: Terry’s search for rare unpointium. VC Ferguson looks elsewhere for a place to invest, and young hackers kidnapped by mysterious agency. Grayson…
After the CIO’s brother dies in a gruesome Yagi accident, Terry is put in charge of a team sent to Africa to search for the rare element unpointium. The goal is to create a new line of flexible highly-directional antennas that can’t kill you when you fall on them. Wanda’s weird claims of seeing supernatural visions in the Jackson Heights Project heatmaps were enough to make Venture Capitalist and man of mystery Ferguson take his pot of money elsewhere- or were they? Tino’s community service for his mall Karma attack takes a bizarre and startling twist when he and new love (and fellow hacker) Lucy are hypnotized by the LEDs on the camp’s Aerohive access points and whisked away by dark vehicles with government plates. Meanwhile, Monique confronts Grayson about his MDF indiscretion captured on video. Unflapped, Grayson mocks her choice of codec and admits that he also has gone forward- against Monique’s wishes- to purchase 11ac Wave 1 wireless access points. Episode ends with Carmen staring at her monitor seemingly catatonic, while a packet capture scrolls down the screen and Billy Idol’s “Hot In The City” plays in the background.
Tonight on Wi-Fi Wives: Is Wanda really seeing odd things in heatmaps? Tino gets schooled at camp, and love blossoms at the 66 blocks.
Wanda may be seeing psychotic imagery in the NMS heatmaps on the Jackson Heights WLAN- or is she trying to manipulate mysterious venture capitalist Ferguson as he mulls a play for Lightning Wireless? Tino gets community service for his Karma attack at the mall, at a daycamp for beginning hackers. But when he falls for the pretty face behind a phishing attack that nets his Facebook credentials, he knows he’s in for trouble. Meanwhile, Grayson is still angry about Monique’s decision to wait for 11ac Wave 2 before upgrading, but meets a very interesting Verizon tech named Lucy, in the MDF at Jackson Heights as he’s doing documentation for the project. They hit it off and sparks fly, neither realizing that the encounter is caught on the CCTV system that was being tested- by Monique.
Tonight on Wi-Fi Wives: Who’s changing the survey results on the Jackson Heights project? From the mouths of babes, and Carmen hates driver updates (to say the least).
Riley thinks she knows whose fudging the site survey for the Jackson Heights project- and why is that black SUV following her? Clare and Jim should be happy to hear the baby’s first words, but when Baby Patrick says “Ekahau”, it’s all over. Jim goes ballistic, and tears out of the driveway in a rage- and Clare knows right where Jim is headed. Meanwhile, Carmen keeps getting disconnected from the WLAN after an OS update. When Brian cheerfully reports that it probably just needs a driver update, Carmen loses it. She breaks the laptop, tries to fire Brian (Connie intervenes) and breaks the new conference room table before collapsing into the chair she didn’t want. Episode ends with someone creepily chanting MCS numbers over the office intercom (barely audible).
Tonight on Wi-Fi Wives: Tino pays for his hacking, Terry’s near calamity with her WLAN RFP fades, and everyone’s favorite Die Hard guy makes a cameo as wireless vendor SE.
Mall security captures Tino’s adventures with his WiFI Pineapple on video before the stampede, but will he go on the run? Terry’s career appeared to be over when the CIO publicly insulted the RFP that she wrote, but CIO learned of his own brother’s Yagi-related injuries (Randall, last episode) and has plans for Terry to help him understand WiFi better. Bernice has brief romantic encounter with sales engineer from Lightning Wireless (Bruce Willis), but will it snap her out of her depression or drive her deeper into it?