9/3/15: The Fat’s in the Fire

(Special mini-series episode 3)

All hell has broken out as the episode opens with a disturbing scene. Large Transaction is at the horse and cart track, muttering something about “payback” as he rams his mount into one fellow contestant after another. Idaho Pete goes down hard, and when Sweet Georgia Brown tries to help his pal, he’s mowed down too. Can nothing stop Large Transaction’s terror ride?

Meanwhile, Jenni-Fi is tormented. She confesses to Carmen that she has to choose between a new life as The Human Pretzel in the circus, or her current one as the resident Saloon Slapper (Jenni-Fi is demonstrating her open-hand slap across Ramrod’s handsomely chiseled face.) Outside Littlechris and Stretchy Dutchman are conducting an impromptu Anger Poetry Seminar For Blokes With Smashing Accents. Stretchy says something that is misunderstood, and Kiefer goes ballistic. Pretty soon everyone inside and out is beating the hell out of each other, swinging everything from old Cisco 340 access points to AppleTVs as Billy Idol’s Hot in the City is twanged out from a banjo in the background. Just before Carmen gets clocked upside the head with a Ruckus ZoneFlex 7363, she sees Ramrod touching what appears to be an LCD screen on his silver cuff link- as he disappears into a cloud of Cisco Teal-colored smoke.

Back in what may or may not be reality, Terry makes a play for freedom from the evil 4-channel warlord. She’s been saving tiny shavings from the channel 14 antennas she has been forced to whittle, and has enough to disguise herself as a giant Yagi. As the warlord dozes on his Globo Gym yoga mat, Terry slowly eases out of the mouth of the mine. She see’s the unmistakable markings of a Xirrian Air Force aircraft overhead, and parachutes in the sky. She smells freedom- but what’s that noise behind her?

Next Week: Scandal at Lightning Wireless, Daphne’s Secret, Ramrod’s magic wearables


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